Be Careful?

BRODY is a major player in my dating history. We fell in love back in the beginning of college, dated for a couple years, broke up, and then went off & on for a couple years. It got very ugly for a while, but at some point we reconciled and I now consider him a good friend.

His fiancé & I volunteer at a non-profit together. While I wouldn’t say we’re buddies, we do get along quite well. She recently asked for my help in planning their wedding, since my company runs the place they plan to host a reception.

I was surprised at the disgust I was met with upon telling friends about it. According to my usually-wise sister, I’ll be at the wedding and suddenly realize that I used to be in love with him and lose my mind and set the bride on fire. Today I passed the event off to a coworker to save myself from cataclysmic insanity.

However, I questioned all these people who are looking out for me. They all relayed stories about how sad they were when their exes moved on. Am I the only one capable of fully getting over an ex?

Meanwhile, I've been given the following warning about CAMERON's ex: "She knows who you are. Be careful."

Pioneers

This morning CAMERON & I had Cherry Sex. You know, when somebody has always wanted to do something, and then they finally get to do that thing. It’s special. I've popped all sorts of cherries and it never gets old. Being the first makes me feel triumphant - like a horny, limber superhero.

Afterward, I had to hurry out the door. At the coffee shop on my way to work, the woman behind the counter pointed at my chest (I was wearing a lowcut blouse), "Um...You've got a little something...."

And there it was. On my chest, in my hair, and a little on my chin. I pulled my scarf up to cover it all and couldn't muster any response other than, "oh...darn toothpaste."

Boners

George (my sexy coworker) is back from tour. I told him I’d call him over a week ago and I have not. I’m still trying to avoid the company ink.

We caught eyes across the room, and walked toward eachother with arms outstretched, sort of joking. But when we hugged he held me tight and said into my neck “This is great.” And it was. I didn’t want to let go. I wanted us to be snuggling somewhere private where I might lose my face in his enormous beard. It was one of those times I’m grateful that women don’t get boners.

Lone Ranger

CAMERON & I are back on speaking terms. He broke the silence with an invitation to watch a video of Cyndi Lauper covering John Lennon songs. We had dinner and Cyndi with no mention of the fact that I called him a ‘fucking girl.’

Then I was a Lone Ranger for a couple days [This means I didn’t answer phone calls and went out a lot, without making plans with anyone specifically. I do this to stall important conversations.]

The Lone Ranger days were spent at rock shows, where I was easily distracted by a friend of a friend named JED. We gravitate towards each other in social situations, and he makes me laugh hard enough for it to hurt. For a lead guitarist/singer, he’s awfully grounded – he aspires to be a firefighter, and is probably somebody’s favorite uncle. I daydream that we have kids together, but I have yet to think about sleeping with him.

I’m going see a show where CAMERON works tonight. I promised I’d go. It’ll be a tricky one. JENS (the experimental musician reminiscent of a wild animal) is performing and I want him to bite me.

Choices: For Better or Worse

Someone recently gave me the following dating advice: “Narrow your choices.” I can’t get it out of my head.

Apparently, if I buckle down with one person, I will work hard at what is in front of me instead of moving on to the next person whenever I’m not completely satisfied. By doing this, I am supposed to achieve some kind of peace. I see the allure, and I have found comfort in that mindset in the past. However, where is the line? How much do you put up with and how hard do you work in the name of “trying?”

Yes, being in a relationship requires work. But we’ve all seen the bad couples who stay together. The ones who have the same arguments all the time, or they stifle one another or take eachother for granted, or the ones who just seem bored. Sometimes they get married. And sometimes they even claim to be happy. To them, the good stuff (there’s always good stuff) just outweighs the bad stuff. Is it really that simple?

CAMERON isn’t speaking to me. We argued because I wouldn’t make time in my schedule to meet his friend’s new baby. I’m not committing the way he’d like me to. After I told him he “acts like a fucking girl” he stormed off and that was that. I feel awful for saying it. But I don’t know if my desire for a bounty of choices can be remedied.