I am the first person MALCOM [almost-divorced dad] has been with since her. Very often, these back-on-the-market guys are interested in meeting new people, staying out late, and casual sex. But that quickly wears off and they want the predictability of a relationship, along with the consistent sex. So they rush into something with the first girl who excites them, which in most cases is me.
I have been with a large number of these men. They break up with their woman of 5+ years, and come over to me within a week. Either word has actually gotten around town that I am the Breakup Nurse, or I send out some kind of I’ll-make-it-all-better vibes. I think it’s the latter. I patiently listen to their stories of how horrible she was, and accept their inability to maintain an erection. After they go move their stuff out of her place, I listen to heartbreaking details and tell them they are going to be okay. In other words, I am a friend.
I realize that I gravitate toward these guys as much as they do to me. It is an overused term, but they are “emotionally unavailable.” And maybe I like that. Rarely is The Rebound the one they settle down with. Something about this fact gives me great comfort, which makes me…psychotic?
