What Goes Around Comes Around

LOLITA [very young, very intense admirer of mine] and I are attempting friendship, if for no other reason than the fact that we share friends. It just makes the get-togethers easier. She's been on pretty good behavior. We both attended a wine tasting the other night (she is old enough to drink!) and we sat together and caught up.

This all seemed innocent enough until I discovered that LOLITA has her own Lolita to contend with. A young, cute thing with a big fat crush on LOLITA.

LOLITA TWO was sitting across from us at a big table of lesbos, giving me the stinkeye for quite some time until LOLITA whispered "She likes me. A lot. She's a lunatic."

Fiveglasses of wine later, LOLITA TWO is doing that keep-your-enemies-closer thing. Friendly conversation topics like what do I do for a living, do I have a girlfriend, do I own a leather jacket (apparently, I look like the sort who wears one). We all giggled like girls until the end of the night, when LOLITA was dropping me off and looked at her phone, then showed me a new text message:

do you like her more than me? don't ignore me.

The First Date

BOOM BOOM [the neon-clad drummer with whom I am going steady] and I have settled into a regular schedule of sleepovers and pancakes. The sex is inventive and passionate, and I'm coming around to the cuddling. It's agreed that we won't bone other people, and though we do not say it out loud very often, we care for one another.

Then an acquaintance asked if I am dating BOOM BOOM, after seeing us together at a party. I started to answer, then realized out loud, "I don't know. We've never been on a date."

I told BOOM BOOM the story and he argued that making pancakes on a thursday morning is most certainly a date, but suggested we go 'out' on a proper date soon.

We set the date for a few days later. BOOM BOOM picked me up wearing navy collared shirt, tucked into jeans, with dark boots. I looked him up & down in shock, and he nodded smugly, pretending to dust himself off. He had also showered, and was eager to point that out.

We rode our bikes to an old fashioned ice cream parlor and shared a giant carmel banana split. We walked the bikes home, and kissed outside my front door before going up to my place and fucking. The next morning we made pancakes.

The Tug

I got a call from FONTAINE (the touring soundguy with whom I shared a moment in a mic closet during my trip to SXSW). The band he works for was coming through town and he hoped I'd come to the show. I said I'd go.

After hanging up, I immediately pictured BOOM BOOM in a leather vest & gold pants.

It's a rare event that I have reservations about juggling suitors, particularly in the case of the out-of-town-visitor-hookup. But something was tugging at my gut in the cab on the way to see FONTAINE.

I arrived at the show, and popped over to the soundboard for a hug. It was one of those Holy Shit, I Forgot How Hot You Are moments. He had a beard again, with moonbeams coming out of his eyes that whispered, "have sex with meeee...."

After the band's set, we sat backstage and talked over pizza & beer. Eventually I told him I was ready to go home, and he leaned over and kissed my cheek very slowly. It felt good, and he smelled like a campfire, but my gut started tugging again. "I can't," I told him. "I like somebody." He said he understood, and we said goodbye, lying about how we'd stay in touch.

Going Steady

LOLITA continues to text me abbreviated versions of her feelings. This does not bother BOOM BOOM, with whom I am going steady.

That's right, I said it. We have yet to go on a date, but the other night when I stopped by his place around 1am for a typical bootycall, he sat me down on the broken-bench-seat-from-a-van he calls a couch and we had this conversation:

HIM: I like you.
ME: I like you too.
HIM: And I'm not running around with other girls....on purpose.
ME: Okay.
HIM: I don't want to fuck anybody else.
ME: Cool.

He was wearing a Chicago Bulls windbreaker circa 1993. Nothing says romance like the Three-peat.

She Who Will Not Be Ignored

LOLITA is back (she didn't really leave).

I knew she was young, impressionable, and a little nuts. But I still made out with her. A bunch of times. She's pretty and she constantly tells me how amazing I am. It's a slippery slope?

But when LOLITA gave me a friendship bracelet (the homemade kind, with string, that children give to their friends), I should have walked away. When she casually mentioned "our wedding" the fifth time, I should have called it off. Instead, I gently told her that she was being a bit overbearing. But as usual, if I didn't call/text right back, she got upset. Lesson #192: You can never ignore a crazy person.

The texts/instant messages/phonecalls/emails got out of control, and I reminded myself that if a man behaved this way, I wouldn't be so gentile about it. So I told her off. I said she was needy and pushy, and that she needed to learn about boundaries.

LOLITA gave me a curt "I've never felt like such an asshole. You won't be hearing from me anymore."

A whole hour later, she texted:

i will not B ignored

The Cycle

I told STRINGBEAN we'd schedule another date. That was days ago.

You see, I've been spending time with BOOM BOOM. Not a lot of time, which is perhaps perfect.

I'll start with our communication. We hardly speak. One-word text messages, or 1-minute phone calls, which usually happen after 24 hours of very lazy phone tag (we each make one call, without leaving voicemail messages, and then give up).

While we still have not been on a date, we do stop by each other's homes once or twice a week in the morning, before one of us is off to work. On those visits, we hug a lot. And kiss. And touch each other outside our clothes. And discuss the heres & there of the previous or current day. The visits last about 30 minutes tops and ends with a peck on someone's cheek and a smack on some else's ass.

The other get-togethers happen at night, usually late, after one of us has worked, recorded, or rehearsed, or in the rare occasion that we've gone out to a show together. BOOM BOOM says, "May I come over?" or "Are you coming over?" I say yes, we get into someone's home, and get to fucking right away. After fucking, we cuddle, talk about the day, and sleep. He is very cuddly. Sleep-cuddling has always been a no-no for me, but somehow his koala grip feels pretty good, even at 5am when he's stuck to my side and his sweaty head is in my armpit.

In the morning we fuck again, and kiss and hug some more. Then come the cheek-kiss, ass-smack goodbyes. The next day, BOOM BOOM calls me and I take about 24 hours to call him back. The cycle continues.

Boom Boom vs. The Hollywood Kiss

STRINGBEAN is tall, skinny, and I've never seen him in anything but dress slacks, a sensible shirt & a tie. To accomodate weather, last night he added a sweatervest and sportcoat with corduroy elbow patches. Did I mention he is in grad school?

We met at a vegan restaurant downtown and shared beet sangria and he told me about his job, classes, and family. We ended up sharing grade school sex stories and concluded that I'd have been a perfect high school girlfriend for him. We laughed, he paid, then strolled down the street to a pub for a cocktail & more chatter. After, a walk to the water tower, where STRINGBEAN swept me into a hollywood-style dip kiss.

Perfect date? Yes.

When BOOM BOOM called on my way home, I told him I went to dinner with a friend. We made plans for later in the week, because I thought about him all night.